I have the kind of body type where everyone assumes that I’ve lost weight.

I don’t know what this means.

Let’s say, for example, that I haven’t changed my net mass in approximately six months. Let’s say I last saw you five months ago. Let’s say I saw you today. You’ll say, statistically proven, without fail, “Holy shit, you’ve lost weight!”.

I haven’t been able to figure this out. I am able to predict it, clockwork precise. Why? How does this happen?

I need to keep my jelly in check. I am aware of my own jelly. I am aware of the jelly reduction that common sense demands.

But anyone I haven’t seen since at least February: “You’ve already reduced your jelly! You are a jelly reducing machine!”

But there is no jelly reduction. I weigh the exact same. There is something about my body type.

I posess some kind of nostalgia fatness. Some kind of fatness where people remember me fatter than I really am. Such that, even if I’m still kind of fat, people are all like, “Holy shit, you’ve lost weight.” It’s wierd.

Wierd science.

It’s kind of… demotivating.