I was at a comic book store the other day, picking up the latest trade of Fables (it came out a while ago, but I’m always lazy about buying comic books). There was a brief discussion about the visibility of Dr. Manhattan’s glowing blue penis in the Watchmen movie. I think this may have been prompted by the Dr. Manhattan action figure box standing on their shelf, with a pair of alternate legs (and, one hopes, exposed genitals) barely visible through the box’s plastic window at box’s bottom. The woman at the counter said the penile euphemism “Wang” first, if I recall, but I echoed it, in conversation.

When I said the word, an employee, further down the counter, who had been in conversation with an older Asian gentleman said loudly, to this gentleman, “Wang”, and then looked deliberately at me. As if to say, “Check out this racist motherfucker.” This triggered a moment of reflection.

    Wang is only one of many human last names that have also become a word for penis. Wang, obviously, is a Chinese last name.

    Dong is a Vietnamese last name, and also a word for Penis.

    Johnson is an anglo-saxony kind of last name, and also means Penis.

    Willie is an English first name of German origin, and also means Penis.

    Ono is a Japanese last name, and doesn’t mean Penis. Yet. Think about it, though. “I walked into the room without knocking first, and I saw his Oh No!”

    Jonker is a Dutch last name, and the word Junk is frequently used for Penis (probably also testicles). Jonker is pronounced Yonker, and there is no evidence that it shares an origin with the word junk.

    Ding is a Chinese last name, and the Penis, has, on occasion, been referred to as a Ding-a-Ling. Ling is also a Chinese last name.

    Weiner is a German last name, and is also a word for Penis. Also, it is something that you can eat, sometimes in a bun.

    Cock is a Flemish surname meaning Cook.

It also means Penis.

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